A one-upper is someone who always has to do something bigger and better than you.
You: “I saw Bradley Cooper at the club last night and he winked at me!!”
One-Upper: "I totally saw Bradley Cooper in Vegas and he invited me to his VIP table and ignored every other girl there and we made out."
You: "I found a new tea at Whole Foods that infuses peppermint, mango, and elderflower. It’s amazing!"
One-upper: “When I was in the Amazon Rain Forrest, I made my own tea from the natural herbs I found while strolling with my new boyfriend, Bradley Cooper.”
So, how do you deal with this?
First, you should know that the one-uppsmanship has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. It stems from their insecurities - and the need to feel better about their own lives. When you are confident, you don’t feel the need to one-up people.
There are a few things you can do based on the examples above:
- Ignore your friend’s make out session with Bradley and change the subject.
- Say, “I love the new Whole Foods tea. I think you should try it.”
- Say, “That’s great you have a new boyfriend. I would have a really hard time dating a popular actor based on tabloid speculation and work hours.”
- Say, “You’re new boyfriend is Bradley Cooper? I just saw him last night with Penelope Cruz. They looked really cozy.”
You know your friend and what will work. If it really bothers you and it is affecting your relationship, tell them the truth. If they are bragging about the luxurious vacations they take that you can’t afford, tell them you are happy for them but you can’t budget that into your life right now. It can subtly bring up your discontent with the bragging.
If you are the one-upper, STOP NOW! No one is going to want to be around you. You’ll lose friends and no one will want to have a relationship with you. You need to deal with what is making you say those things and build your confidence. Be happy that your friend received a wink from a hot guy. Let her have her moment.
I’ll leave you with Penelope from SNL.
And this picture of Bradley Cooper from the Hangover 2 premiere on Hollywood Boulevard. He totally invited me as his date to the premiere after he saw me walking past the red carpet. It was meant to be. ;)
(BTW, The Conquer Your Career e-Guide is 50% off through Monday for Memorial Day. Take advantage of this offer now! And remember why we celebrate Memorial Day.)